Toy-Geek Boy-Scout

Portland, Oregon. A Tuesday night in February. The rain falls out of the sky like defeated tears; wet and stupid.

I drove over four hours for this abuse -an unnecessary press-check; bad service at an overrated, trendy brewpub whose fare is presently afflicting me with a bubbling mud-pot of heartburn; and a lonely hotel room coated with cigarette slime and miles away from the nearest bar, lounge, or weak-willed, bottle-toting, soft-thighed geekstress.

That's okay, though. I knew it might come to this, that I might find myself perched in slack-bellied hopelessness upon the edge of some flaccid, spunk-stained, drive-by mattress.

I am no fool, I have, like any good ex-boy scout, come prepared: I have ... glowie sofubi and Tofugokin!